Here’s your permission slip to be more than who you care for.

“Glue is a utility. It holds the thing. It is not the thing. If we are the glue, even if we take pride in holding everyone together… we are still not the thing. We are not the family, the team, the relationship, the company, the friendship. We are the glue. And glue, when overused, dries out, loses its stickiness, and eventually cracks. You were never meant to be the glue. You were meant to be free.”
— Cleo Wade

When identity is overly tied to caregiving or work roles, it becomes fragile in the face of stress or failure. Developing interests, hobbies, and intellectual curiosity outside of these roles fosters psychological resilience.

“Multiple role identities, particularly non-obligatory ones, are associated with greater well-being and emotional regulation.”
— Linville, P. W. (1987). Self-complexity and affective extremity: Don’t put all your eggs in one cognitive basket. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Permission to be interesting - to yourself.

Mutual restoration creates space for each partner to reconnect with themselves, preventing burnout and identity erosion, particularly in high-stress professions like medicine. Guilt-free rest is associated with better cognitive functioning, emotional resilience, and relationship satisfaction (Sabbagh et al., 2020).

Permission to burn guilt and shame.

Creating space for self-directed interests can improve problem-solving, boundary-setting, and relational health. Non-caregiving interests foster identity diversification — a buffer against emotional overload from work or family roles (Aron & Aron, 1997).

Permission to say NO to things that no longer serve and say YES to things that fire you up.